From Froo to Lu

Nov. 18:  Little Fetus Froo Froo is the size of a...  BABY.  At 7:18 PM, she turns from Little Fetus Froo Froo into Baby Katherine Lulu.

I wanted so badly to post for you, but I have not the words!!!  Or, perhaps, it's more accurate to say that the entrance of this new soul in a 6 lb. 11 oz body seems too great an event to be contained by the magnificent words of the English language I love so well.

I have not the words!!!  But would you accept, instead... a picture?

Katherine Lulu Chastain

(I thought you might.)

I have not the words!!!

I have been stunned into silence.

But fear not, faithful b & the b readers.

I have a birth story to tell.  Stay tuned...

??? Did She Have The Baby ???

Would Ginna really post her baby announcement in her blog???
This entry goes all the way to 40 weeks, Nov. 16, the baby's due date...
But yet, she is posting today, on the due date, so... she couldn't have had the baby, right?
She's not posting from the hospital is she?
... Or is she?

Well, you have to read on to find out.

weeks 38 & 39; astoria, ny

Nov. 1:  Bump shots up to 38 weeks.  For the full gallery of weeks 15 - 38, scroll down to bottom.

Nov. 2:  38 weeks.  Little Fetus Froo Froo is the size of a pumpkin, they say.  Sheffield and I attend a co-ed shower at our friends' Jenny and Eric's.  There are gifts, lots of food, many children, and everyone talks to me about my baby and my birth plan: tremendous!  We are there for eight hours.  I hope Jenny and Eric still like us.

LOVE goes to the Curb

36 & 37 weeks; astoria, ny

Oct 19:  36 weeks.  Little Fetus Froo Froo, I am told, is the size of a Honeydew Melon.

Oct. 20:

There
Was a chair
Called LOVE.
LOVE broke.
Where oh where
Goes a broken chair
called LOVE?

Before this sounds like a sad story, let me point out that we live in a small two-bedroom apartment in Astoria.  Which is in Queens.  Which is in NYC's five boroughs.  NYC is arguably one of the greatest cities in the world.  We have a constant flow of tourists.  We have inhabitants of many cultures.  We have great museums.  We have Broadway.
What we don't have is space.

the fetus ate my homework

34 & 35 weeks; astoria, NY

Oct. 5:  34 weeks. Little fetus Froo Froo is the size of a butternut squash.  Finally!  Not that I needed her to be the size of said vegetable, but it is the cutest-sounding vegetable to which she has now been compared.  Also, we receive another bag of clothes from another generous family.  My kid has a more extensive wardrobe than I do.  (Well, let's be honest, I rotate three pairs of stretch pants and four tops these days, so I'm hardly competition.)

 Plus, these goodies arrive from soon-to-be Aunt Kelly in Prague.  (Isn't our baby so European?)

Aaaaand we're gonna breeze through some of this pregnancy blog because -may I be frank?  I just don't have it in me.  What I do have in me is a person.  A person who rolls.  A person who rolls and stretches in my very confined midsection.  I know it's sorta a "dog-ate-my-homework" kind of excuse, but really, people, a rolling stretching person inside you makes it hard to focus, so these entries are brief:

Oct 6:  I got this day in one word-  insomnia.

Oct 7:  The only way to sleep on my side now is by using my hand as a kickstand.  Can you even picture what I'm talking about?  Imagine that I am an inflated beach ball on a mattress.  See how a kickstand could help?  No?  Okay.  Don't bother.

Butt Spot for Baby

32 weeks.  astoria, ny

Sept. 21:  32 Weeks.  Little Fetus Froo Froo is the size of a large jicama.

Sept 22:  Someone offeres me her seat on the subway!!!  I am seven months pregnant and I think this is the first.  She doesn't ask if I am pregnant, or make a big deal out of it, she just turns over her precious butt-spot for my butt.  (*Note:  the two dudes on either side of her do not budge.  Good job guys.  Just, be aware, you white guys are scoring very low in this small social experiment.)

Sept 23:   I have a few irrational fears.  First and foremost, terrorists.  I am regularly spooked that one of these guys is going to hijack the subway system and kill me and my baby in a horrible and humiliating way.  Sheffield agrees that this is irrational, and demands that I stop watching the news.  I obey.

Secondly, and perhaps less irrational, I am increasingly fearful of subway steps.  Namely, of falling down them.  Sheffield says this is not irrational, because people do fall down subway steps sometimes, and that I should be careful.  I obey.  I am decidedly slow going down the subway stairs.  I am a New Yorker's Nightmare.  New Yorkers want to plough through me, walk over my head, or kill me in a horrible and humiliating way.  Because I understand their frustration, and can relate, I often step aside and let the rush pass so I don't feel the crowd and the hatred bearing down on me.

However, unlike Terrorists, 

I think most New Yorkers are just full of a lotta hot air, 

so, sometimes, I continue at my own pace and those bitches can wait.

/frē/ - /ˈhandiNG/

week 31.  astoria, ny

Sept 14: 31 weeks. Little Fetus Froo Froo is the size of a pineapple. Sheffield and I riff for a long long time about how dismal it would be to deliver a pineapple.

WELL-MEANING FRIENDS: So, do you know if it's a boy or a girl?

GINNA AND SHEFFIELD: We don't care. (Big sigh.)  As long as it's not a pineapple...

This riff goes on for a long time.

Sept 15: I start a four-week job. At night, while rehashing the pineapple joke and other fart jokes, Sheffield makes me laugh so hard I pee. This is the second time this has happened this trimester. Don't get cocky, I tell him, it's not that big an accomplishment to make a pregnant lady pee.